Dottie sat on the french provincial couch in the living room. The living room where no one ever went unless it was Christmas morning or if someone died. The living room that was filled with furniture that belonged to her mother. Until this morning, Dottie never allowed food or drink of any kind in this room (see exceptions above) never mind the Virginia Slims Menthol she held gingerly between two yellowed fingers and the cup of black coffee sitting on the end table. She sat nestled into the corner of the sofa in her housecoat, legs tucked under her butt, staring into space.
Where did I go wrong? she thought. Did I give in too much? Is this because he didn't know his daddy? Hell! I didn't know his daddy! She looked at the mirrored wall clock above the chair across the room...6:30 am. No Teddy yet and soon she'd have to go to work. She couldn't call in again.
Curtis would have a cow! That asshole deserves to have a cow the way he's carrying on at work. Five more minutes and then I...Dottie heard the front door lock click. Teddy stumbled across the threshold nearly falling into the curio cabinet filled with Dottie's Precious Moments collection.
"Hey Mama!" He waved and gave her a stupid grin. In that grin Dottie could see her 8 year old little boy bursting into house after school. Her heart once again warmed to her son but she knew that now was not the time for nostalgia. She had blamed herself far too long. Teddy is 29 now and it's high time he shared the responsiblity for the screw up he is. Then she thought sadly, It's a sad day when you realize that you've raised jackass! Looks like I took better care of this furniture than my own son..she thought with self pity.
"Teddy," she said quite calmly.
"I know, Mama! I know!" he interrupted sloppily waving both hands in front of him.
"Teddy...I have to be at work in 30 minutes. Today I work until 4. When I get home, I want you and all of your shit outta my house. If you are not outta the house when I get home, I will call the Sheriff and he will be here while I remove you and your shit from this house. I love you but I cannot live in a constant state of fear any more." She snuffed her cigarette into the Betty Boop ashtray next to the couch, picked up her coffee and retreated to her bedroom. She closed her bedroom door and leaned up against it breathing deeply as if she had just run a marathon.
I did it...Oh my God! I just did it! I wasn't even planning on doin' it...Where'll he go? Where'll he live? NO! NO! You did the right thing! Stop it, Dottie, dammit! He needs this...and if he doesn't then he can just be bum on his own time.
Dottie started to cry. She cried for the loss of the hopes she had for that baby boy she held in the emergency room the night she gave birth. She didn't even know she was pregnant. She cried for the overwhelming feeling of love and protection she felt for the tiny little person who quite literally dropped into her life. She cried, because until that little soul came into her life, she was as much a screw up as Teddy is now...maybe worse.
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